“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” George Addair
I love this quote. After being gone for nearly two years, I finally returned to one of my favorite places in the world: Hawaii. Back in March, I bought a one-way ticket back to my former home and island paradise, unsure of what my time on Oahu had in store for me.
Why then, if Hawaii is one of my favorite places in the world, did it inspire feelings of fear? Because I felt that the context in which I previously lived there no longer existed. With the end of a relationship that I felt previously defined me in this space – a relationship in which friends, coworkers, and an apartment was shared – I was unsure of my standing in Hawaii. Now it was just me.
I was overjoyed to find that the community in Hawaii welcomed me back with arms wide open. Although I had spent two years away – it quickly felt like I hadn’t missed a beat. And although some of the friendships I had shared, I found that they equally belonged to just me.
I returned to Kailua Beach Adventures, where I was reunited with some old and some new coworkers, and was surrounded by an attitude of playfulness, gratitude, and joy that was just the same as when I’d left.
Interestingly enough, working alongside the girl that my former partner cheated on me with was one of the best things that happened. Undoubtedly, a month prior I would have told you that this would be the worst case scenario, but by this exact thing happening, there was nothing left to fear. Speaking with her and working alongside her humanized this person that I previously spent and wasted negative thoughts on.
What else did I recognize that I feared during my time in Hawaii? Being intimate and consequently vulnerable with someone. But meeting someone (Nick), with whom I wanted to challenge that fear with (and consequently let go of it), has led me to the most loving and caring relationship. Something far better than I could have dreamed up.
The things that Oahu had in store for me this spring was reconnecting with friends, a room in a house with a killer pool (also a killah big centepede in my BED of said house, but 1 sting later and I’m still here), a man unlike any other, and a five day sailing trip with friends new and old. Boy – if I’m not glad I didn’t miss out on that!
What are the things you fear? Name them, because that in itself weakens their power. Reflect, write, talk, read.
My mom and dad gave me this book for my birthday, and although it speaks of a different type of fear – the instinctual, survival type – it, too, is fear nonetheless.
Fear can hold a lot of power over us – if we let it. Sending everyone strength and love today!
5 thoughts on “Returning to Hawaii”
Hayley, you are one smart gal! Love the writing and you are a fearless woman, Love you aunt Charlotte❤️
Thank you for reading, Charlotte! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Fearlessness must run in the Davis blood. See you in a couple of months ❤
I love this! Fear is the mind killer. My greatest fear is failure which leaves me feeling stagnant in life. I have to force myself to take scary leaps sometimes but its always worth it.
Thank you! I like the way you frame fear as a mind killer – I agree! I find that the leaps get a little bit easier each time. Thanks for reading, Betsy! ❤
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It’s from Dune 😉